I hate being vulnerable.

I hate being vulnerable. That’s what I said last night. I was crying.

We get into nonprofits because we are good at solving problems. Or good at taking care of people. We’re taught to think of others first.

But there’s a dark side to this. It’s safer when other people need us.

If they need us, then we’re in a position of power. We can take away our help and walk away. Over-giving can also be a response to trauma. I’ve had a problem with this before.

Guess what though. It’s not safe when we need people.

It’s REALLY not safe when we need to ask people to do something different. 

Usually I try to sweep it under the rug. And silently seethe. Or run away. And say well THAT person was the problem. But really, it was me. I was the problem.

You’ll never get away with this! That’s what they say on the old cartoons. Hahaha says the villain.

Whether you’re crying on the inside or the outside, I want to tell you, you’ll never get away with this. When you hide what you need, it finds a way out.

Last night I was open about what I needed. And it was SO HARD. 

After it happened though, I felt better. The tears stopped. I was able to laugh again. We talked about my insecurities. And some ideas for solutions.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I want you to pay attention to how you feel. Pay attention to what you need. And ask for it. Even if you think there’s no way you’re going to get it.

If you hate being vulnerable too, you’re not alone. But part of being a good leader is getting better at being vulnerable. Just ask Brene Brown.

Being vulnerable also means admitting,

• I don’t know what to say at that major donor meeting. I’m freaking out.
• I don’t know how to get better board members but I know I need them.
• I’m worried that I’m too introverted to be a good leader.
• And I’m scared to be vulnerable.

If you have any of those problems, we are going to work on them, together, this September 24, 26 and 28, at the Nonprofit Leadership Summit. In the next few weeks I’m going to be telling you all about who will be speaking this year, and how they can help you. The price is going to rise from $397 at the end of July to $497 in August to $597 in September, so getting in now is a good idea. If you need a scholarship, let me know.

I know it’s scary, but I’m here to walk beside you, if you want me to.